Here's something I need that I haven't found in stores:
An attractive and possibly vintage-looking transparent glass box with an opaque lid. Hidden in the lid would be a digital player and speaker with bluetooth, powered by a tiny replaceable battery.
The owner could turn the speaker/player on and off with their phone.
If anyone other than the owner tried to open the box, a recording would play a voice that screamed something like this:
"WHY ARE YOU OPENING ME? WHY ARE YOU THRUSTING YOUR FAT FINGERS INTO ME? I'M NOT YOURS! I'M NOT YOURS TO TOUCH! HELP! STOP TOUCHING ME! HELP! SOMEONE'S TOUCHING ME AND PULLING THINGS OUT OF ME! H-E-L-P!!"
The owner of the jar would be able to record their own shrieking message -- ideally with various voice-disguising options available on their computer, since the player’s SD card would be removable and the owner could transfer files to it using an adapter.
For my purposes, the box should hold, say, three oranges or moleskine music paper notebooks. For nearly any user, it should be small enough to fit on any cluttered desk.
A screaming glass box would be perfect for ratting out theft-inclined co-workers, visitors and other grasping dweebs.
What do you think? Do you want one?